We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He has the fingertips of a God
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
