Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Duck Duck Cougar?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
