he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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