I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
