If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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