I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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