Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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