how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
