oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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