You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
