somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
