I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
