he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
