But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
