Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
