This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
