Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
