Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
