he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
