I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
This toilet bowl is my home.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
