Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
