i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
