i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
