Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
