I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
