ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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