So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
