hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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