You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
