Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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