she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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