my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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