guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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