the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
