i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
