Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
