i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
