No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
