why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
is it fun? or sober?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
