I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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