I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i permit you to call me
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
