I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Four minutes until I can fart!
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it glows. i had to have it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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