my mouth tastes like poor choices
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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