omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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