So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
