I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
