i permit you to call me
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
