okay pat passed out under dana's car
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
