Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
