I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
